I never thought about it like that…

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Feedback is free education.

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Regardless of whether you like what you hear, how it was said, why it was said or what the motives of the feedback are, it is a free education for you.

How should you take it.

Getting hard feedback can be difficult to take. Sometimes you may assume a negative purpose from the person giving you feedback. You may not agree with what you hear or like it and may feel the need to be defensive. This is all natural.

However if you assume that regardless of your viewpoint of the person, their feedback on you is how they feel or see you, then you have an opportunity to learn more about yourself. This is after all how someone perceives you.

Do you need to adapt to all feedback? No, it depends, if someone is reacting angerly to you , you may need to approach them again on the feedback when they calm down and you should not add heat to the argument, but in general outside of anger, most feedback is something you can listen to, digest and learn from.

Try not to react negatively, try to be open minded, ask for clarification, hopefully the person giving the feedback is being constructive and not personal. Ask for specifics.

Then take the feedback and think about it, reflect on how you could have behaved differently or how you could adjust to improve yourself. Work with the person to give you feedback in a more positive way if necessary. Follow up with them to see if it is ongoing. During reflection think, have I heard this from others in different forms. What do I need to do to correct this assuming you value the relationship and want to improve.

If you learn nothing else about yourself and what you can do to improve, you will learn something about giving feedback.

What did you like about how they gave you feedback, what could they have done better, this is not for feedback to them, but for you to learn how to give good feedback.

Here are some things to think about when giving feedback

  • Make the feedback about the behaviors and not the person. Depersonalize the criticism
  • Make it constructive, rather than what you did wrong, talk about how they could have approached or said it differently.
  • Do not resort to personal attacks or insults as this will get no one anywhere
  • Try to be specific on the issue.
  • Give feedback with good intentions, make those intentions clear, do not sound patronizing.
  • Listen to the person and understand where they are coming from, as you give feedback you should be open to understanding your role in their behavior .

If you learn to give and take feedback properly, this will encourage others to trust you and will improve your team. Remember if you work on a diverse team you will have many differing viewpoints and people will accept feedback differently.

Try to make it all a learning exercise for you, how you adjust to differing views.

Question:

What is the best benefit you have had from feedback given correctly

What is the best feedback you received?

Don’t forget to comment and give me Feedback, I appreciate your thoughts.

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One thought on “I never thought about it like that…

  1. Pingback: My Bad… | Old Man Rambles

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